


Love Is The Greatest Heartbreaker

by Shipsandficsandotpsohmy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:56:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28838154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipsandficsandotpsohmy/pseuds/Shipsandficsandotpsohmy
Summary: Love is truly the greatest heartbreaker, a fact that Bucky Barnes came to painfully discover when he was fourteen. He never thought he would lose his best friend Steve Rogers, and if he did, he always thought it would be from an asthma attack or fight gone wrong rather than another person. Alas, after years of enjoying having Steve's attention solely focused on him, Peggy Carter waltzed in, stealing Steve's heart and breaking Bucky's at the same time.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic that I've ever written so I hope you enjoy it! It is unbetad so feel free to point out any mistakes there might be.

Foolishly, Bucky thought it was going to be him and Steve together forever. It was always going to be Bucky and Stevie against the world, until the end of the line. That was their mantra when times got tough; when Steve refused to back down from countless fights and inevitably got the shit beat out of him, when Bucky's dad started using him as a punching bag after frequent late-night benders only made worse when Bucky decided to come out, even when Steve's mom passed away when they were both too young to have to experience that kind of loss.

They had been best friends since they were seven years old. When they first met, Steve was getting beat up, because what else would he be doing in his free time? Everyone around them, even their own mothers, didn't quite believe their relationship would last. Why on earth would James Buchanan Barnes, all star little-league player who could easily charm anyone with his endearingly lopsided grin, hang out with Steve Rogers, a 95 pound asthmatic who had serious authority issues and could never go more than a week without getting into a fight? They were, however, proven wrong when Steve and Bucky became essentially joined at the hip to the point where it was uncommon and even worrisome to see one without the other. Their bond was unique, something only they could understand, and Bucky thought that it would stay that way for the rest of their lives.

As they grew, their friendship grew with them. Like every friendship, they occasionally went through rough patches and had fights, but their bond always emerged stronger than before. However, as they entered their teen years, Bucky noticed that while Steve pined after and had crushes on girls, Bucky was more interested in their male classmates, with one in particular. Bucky still remembers exactly when he noted that their dynamic had changed on his part. 

It was Steve’s fourteenth birthday, his first birthday he was allowed to go out with Bucky without any adult supervision. With their new found freedom, they had decided to go to Coney Island. The whole day was amazing; they ate too much greasy fried food, Bucky desperately tried to win a stuffed bear for Steve- the ones that were generally won to give to people’s sweethearts- much to Steve's amusement, and they went on the Cyclone where Steve naturally threw up. Their night culminated with them watching the 4th of July fireworks on the sand. They were lying side by side looking up at the pyrotechnics exploding above them and it was probably a spectacular display, but Bucky didn't even notice. Nothing compared to how beautiful Steve looked in that moment, knobby limbs splayed out around him, his blond hair slightly mussed, with the most captivating smile spread across his face. In that very moment, Bucky knew that the course of his life had changed. Being in love with his best friend was something that he honestly hadn't planned on doing, but he had to admit to himself that it was inevitable in a way. Even at the young age of fourteen, Bucky knew that Steve was the most important person in his life. He just didn’t quite know yet how much pain he would have to go through because of this seemingly innocuous fact.

Although he was fairly sure that Steve was straight, there were times when he would get his hopes up that Steve was gay, or at the very least bisexual. For instance, when Steve sprouted up 6 inches and gained 50 pounds of absolute muscle during their last year of high school, he still never went out with any girls. When questioned by Bucky, he would always say "But why would I go out with any of them when I can hang out with my best guy?" Bucky would always reply with a slightly wobbly "You're my best guy as well, Stevie" with his heart in his throat. If only their definitions of "best guy" were the same, but Bucky would always want more than was attainable. Ah well, Bucky would take whatever he could get, which so far, had been Steve’s attention on him and him only. And realistically, somewhere in the deepest parts of his mind, the parts that he tried to ignore but kept getting stronger each year, he knew that they would have to part ways some day, be it by college, work, or even romantic relationships. That is of course just how life goes; Bucky just didn't think that it would happen in the next few years. After all, their friendship had survived thus far, so there was no reason to worry, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, you've made it to the second chapter! It's not going very well for Bucky is it? Unfortunately it won't really be getting any better.

Life eventually caught up with Steve and Bucky. They graduated high school, Steve with excellent grades while Bucky was pleasantly surprised to have graduated with higher than Bs in most of his classes, and applied and got into college. Joyously, they would both be attending the same college, mostly since neither of them had the money to afford going anywhere else than their local community college. Like the majority of college freshmen, they were ecstatic and terrified to be embarking on such a grown up journey; one that would change their lives forever. Although they had different majors that they were focusing on, Steve with his art and Bucky with his engineering, they shared most of their core classes and always hung out together during lunch. And if there were any days where they couldn't fulfill their "togetherness quota" during school, they would always go back to the apartment that they shared and have movie nights or study sessions. 

As the year progressed, Steve and Bucky made more friends and were eventually part of a pretty great, albeit small, group of friends. There was Sam, who Steve made friends with after encountering him while going on his daily run around campus, Natasha who became friendly with Bucky in their shared Russian literature class, and of course, Natasha's boyfriend Clint. They had a great group dynamic with many complementing personalities, and they all eventually settled into a steady rhythm. 

This continued until their sophomore year, when Steve signed up for Intersectional Gender and Sexuality Studies class as an elective. Bucky, naturally, was the first one to notice that Steve was acting differently. Instead of his usual uniform of grandpa button-downs and slacks, he started wearing more form fitting and stylish shirts combined with pants that accentuated his ass. Bucky knew something was REALLY wrong when Steve began skipping their usual coffee run in the morning to get to school early and the heart shattering conclusion came when he saw Steve buying a bouquet of romantic looking red roses. When he realized what had happened, it was like his heart had been ripped from his chest and smashed to pieces right in front of him. The inevitable had happened; Steve was seeing someone. 

Her name was Peggy Carter. She had transferred from England to New York the summer before sophomore year and the first time Steve mentioned her to Bucky, he knew he was fucked. He recognized the look on Steve's face whenever he talked about her, because that was the same look Bucky had on his face whenever he so much as thought about Steve. He did have to admit though, they were essentially perfect for each other. They were both stubborn yet calculating, and had the same type of humor. It also didn’t hurt that Peggy was objectively quite a looker. Bucky could tell that Steve was smitten; Peggy had a certain hold on him that left no room to doubt that Steve was falling, and falling fast. 

By the time Steve finally got his head out of his ass and asked Peggy on a date, Bucky’d had enough time to try and convince himself to get over Steve once and for all. The key word of course was "try”. Like many other people in his situation, Bucky found that it’s kind of hard to get over the love of one’s life when it’s one’s best friend. He’d had a couple flings during his senior year of high school and even a semi serious relationship during the summer after freshman year of college, but he could never, and honestly never wanted to, make things last. Why would he when no one else made him laugh like Steve did, looked like Steve did, with his hair the color of spun gold and his eyes the perfect shade of blue that reminded Bucky of the summer afternoons they used to spend outside staring at the clouds, or knew Bucky probably better than Bucky knew himself?

The worst part of it all was how earnest Steve was. Poor oblivious Steve was obviously ecstatic about his relationship and just wanted to gush to his best friend about how great Peggy was. How was he to know that every time he mentioned Peggy and the last great date they went on and how pretty she was and how much fun they had, that all Bucky could muster up was a sad, strained smile because on the inside he could feel his heart shredding itself into nothing? Steve never noticed, because why would he? He was in love and Bucky couldn’t ever find it in himself to blame him. 

Even though Bucky never blamed him, it still hurt. Fuck, did it ever hurt, seeing him with HER, seeing him with someone he could never compete with, even though Bucky still tried. It hurt most of all because Bucky knew that Steve was well and truly happy and isn't that what Bucky always wanted for Steve? Oh, but why couldn't Steve be happy with him? Was that too much to ask?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Bucky. Also, if you liked what you read, feel free to leave a comment to tell me what you thought!

Against Bucky's fervent hopes, Steve and Peggy's relationship steadily continued through sophomore year into their junior year of college. At this point, Bucky had been introduced to Peggy several times, and each time was more tortuous than the last. Because although Bucky tried very hard to be courteous and welcoming to Peggy for Steve's sake, he always came off as cold and defensive. So naturally, Steve thought he hated Peggy, and he did in a way. He didn't hate her as a person, she herself was great, and under different circumstances they would have been great friends. She was beautiful, witty, proud, and knew her worth. He just hated that it was her who gave Steve everything that Bucky wanted to give him. He also hated the hate. He didn't want to hate someone that made Steve so happy he looked like he was made of sunshine. And he tried, he really did. He tried to enjoy the dinner parties, movie nights, and even pub gatherings that Steve and Peggy invited him to. But without fail, after every time that all 3 of them hung out together, Bucky wondered to himself if he really was a masochist, to put himself through such torture.

The rest of college passed in the same vein. Steve continued to be happy with Peggy and Bucky continued to live with his broken heart. All in all, if Bucky had to describe his feelings, he would probably say he was just numb for the last one and a half years of college. He did think that this was better than having to feel the same heart wrenching emotional pain day in and day out, all things considered. He even thought he was eventually going to be ok; he could actually see himself one day officially moving on and being in his own committed relationship later on in life. Especially seeing as he got some healthy space away from both Steve and Peggy when he moved from New York to Boston to get his masters in mechanical engineering at MIT. Although he still talked and skyped with the both of them, he felt that the time away from their relationship was doing him wonders; he felt his heart heal itself more day by day. By his third year in Boston, he even considered jumping back into the dating pool. Of course, that was when Steve with his always impeccable timing called and dropped a bombshell. 

“Buck, can you believe it? I’m getting married! Yeah, I proposed to Peggy last night at Coney Island.” With those three simple sentences, Bucky felt like Steve had torn open his chest and ripped out his barely beating heart. And even though he could feel his world grow colder and greyer by the second, he agreed to be Steve’s best man.

The wedding was great, it really was. The ceremony was tear jerking, Peggy and Steve were both beautiful, and the reception afterwards was fabulous. The best man’s speech was certainly a highlight- “I remember the first time I hung out with the two of you and I remember thinking ‘I’m invisible. It’s like some horrible dream.’ That’s how in love with her you were, Steve.”- and the only hitches that occurred were to be expected when having a wedding. That gorgeous summer day was one that Steve, Peggy, and Bucky would all remember for the rest of their lives. For the newlyweds, it was the best day in their lives and for the best man, it was the day that he officially lost his best friend, the love of his life, his soulmate even. And so if, after the wedding had ended, Bucky went home and screamed into his pillow for so long that his throat felt as raw and painful as his heart, he hoped no one could blame him.


End file.
